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Ask these Questions on Every Anniversary

How do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? Whether you go big or keep it low-key, an anniversary is something to take pride in. It’s a great opportunity to reflect on the past year together in the context of your relationship. One way to make this a meaningful tradition is to ask each other these questions every year. (Consider jotting down your answers in a notebook or journal that you can look back on later!)

What was your favorite memory from the past year and why?

To put it plainly, sometimes we let the negative or mundane things take up more space in our mind and hearts than the things that bring us joy. Looking back on the year, it might seem like the low points stick out the most. If you find yourselves in this mindset, put effort into focusing on the good. It could be something big – a bucket list vacation or becoming parents. Or it could be something with much less fanfare- that weekend you got snowed in and stayed in pajamas the entire time, or when you got in a fight trying to fix the dishwasher but ended up crying with laughter. Having trouble remembering what even happened over the past 12 months? Take a scroll through your camera roll and enjoy the reminiscing.

In what area(s) were you challenged as a couple?

You might be confused by this one after we just asked you to focus on the positive, but remember: being challenged or struggling doesn’t equal failure. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Challenges are opportunities for growth. Keep this in mind, especially if you’re still in the thick of it. Maybe you experienced a shift in roles or finally had to address an underlying conflict. Acknowledging – together – the areas you’re working on helps you feel united and connected. And if you already came out on the other side, give each other a high five.

Where did you thrive?

Speaking of high fives, here’s your chance to really take note of your strengths. In what ways/areas did you kick butt together over the past year? Maybe you really got on top of your finances or are hitting your stride as parents. Perhaps you worked together to overcome the challenges you talked about in the previous question. Whatever they may be, lean into these things. What do you appreciate or admire about each other that contributed to your success? How can you build on your strengths to overcome future challenges?

What’s something you’re looking forward to in the next year?

One of the exciting parts of marriage is looking to the future together – sharing hopes and dreams and working to bring them to fruition. Talking about things you’re looking forward to in the near future gives you a sense of optimism and reinforces the commitment you have to your life together. If you’re having trouble coming up with an answer to this one, then this is the perfect opportunity to put something on the horizon that gets you both excited.

What’s one goal you want to reach before your next anniversary?

Setting a goal is a practical way to begin making your dreams a reality. Consider a goal you can realistically reach in your next year of marriage – it might be a step toward a long-term goal, like saving up for a renovation project, or something self-contained, like going on two dates per month. Talk about what you’ll need to do to reach your goal. When your next anniversary rolls around, you’ll be able to look back and reflect on your progress and achievement.

Your wedding anniversary is not only a time to celebrate your marriage and each other, it’s a great chance to reflect with intention on your journey – where and how far you’ve travelled and where you want to go. With each passing year, you’ll gain more insight, perspective, and confidence in the unique relationship you’ve built together.

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