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Everyday Ways to Reconnect

Mind your manners Make it a point to be polite and kind even when you’re frustrated with your partner. Don’t treat a stranger better than you treat your sweetheart.

Share appreciative stories Tell your partner one trait you appreciate about them and a story that illustrates that quality each day, whether that’s in person, over text, or in a quick email.

Leave love notes Surprise your partner by leaving little notes on their steering wheel, bathroom mirror, their coffee mug, or any other place they’d really appreciate a loving gesture, particularly if it’s currently a source of stress (like their work laptop).

Go down memory lane Reminisce with your partner about the start of your romantic relationship. Talk about your first date—the nerves, excitement, funny moments—and what led you to fall in love with each other.

Get artsy Being busy, you may rarely look at your partner, even when you’re talking to each other. To reconnect, set a timer for 10 minutes and draw each other. The key here is to give your spouse the gift of your time, complete attention, and admiration—to say, “I see you”.

Add a positive thought As stress levels lead to disconnection, it’s easier to zero in on negative traits and everything your partner is not doing, which further expands the distance between you. To counteract the negativity, follow up a critical thought with a positive one. This can be anything such as “I love my partner’s eyes,” “I appreciate that they support my goals,” or “I’m grateful that we have the same values.”

Share a gratitude journal To further express your gratitude, dedicate a notebook for writing down what you appreciate about each other.

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