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Take it Down a Notch

In every relationship, disagreements are inevitable. However, it's how we handle these conflicts that can make or break the emotional bond.

Repair attempts are an essential tool from the Gottman Method to de-escalate conflicts during arguments. They help you “take it down a notch” during an emotional conversation.

Repair attempts are the lifeboat that helps couples weather the storm during heated moments. They are small gestures, words, or actions that express a desire to reconnect and find common ground.

Recognizing and responding positively to repair attempts can be transformative for your relationship.

To effectively repair during an argument…

  • Stay attuned to your partner's emotions and choose your words thoughtfully. Try to use "I feel" statements.

  • Utilize gentle humor, touch, or a sincere apology to ease tension and defuse the situation. Extend the olive branch to your partner.

  • Create a safe space where both partners feel valued and understood. There's no room for criticism, name-calling, or embarrassment here.

By embracing repair attempts, you can learn to "take it down a notch" during emotional conversations, promoting emotional intimacy, understanding, and ultimately fostering a more resilient and loving connection.

So, the next time you find yourselves in the midst of an argument, remember the power of repair and watch how it transforms your relationship.

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