"I want to go out for dinner this weekend, somewhere with a patio to enjoy the nice weather."
This seems like a simple statement, right? A straightforward request for something you want to do shouldn't be a big deal, but for some people, it can be difficult. Why? Simply put, people possess varying levels of assertiveness. Higher levels of assertiveness are often associated with higher levels of self-esteem and confidence, and vice versa.
Assertiveness is important in several areas of life. In your job, it can help you share your ideas or negotiate a raise. In daily life, you might rely on it when you receive the wrong food order or if you were charged incorrectly for a service. And in marriage, it gives spouses the ability to communicate and express their feelings clearly and respectfully. This can alter the entire dynamic of the relationship. That's right - assertiveness has a cyclical effect. Basically, when partners demonstrate higher levels of assertiveness, they feel more confident in expressing their needs and wants, which in turn fosters more assertiveness.
Needless to say, this is a game-changer for couples' communication and conflict resolution. It doesn't come naturally for everyone, but by helping couples understand the positive effect of assertiveness in their relationship, you also highlight the importance of working on and leveraging this crucial skill.