Marriage Minute from The Gottman Institute
High levels of stress from outside sources can interfere with your ability to communicate effectively, connect emotionally, and manage conflict in your relationship. When you successfully cope with stress, you can restore emotional closeness, renew intimacy, and revive romance. Identify your stressors What’s stressing you out? Identify your sources of stress and what might be causing challenges in your relationship as a result. Communicate and listen to understand Share what you’re going through with your partner. The partner who is sharing should use “I” statements, and the partner who is listening must listen without problem-solving. When your partner is done talking, reflect back in your own words what you heard them say about what they’ve been going through. Update your Love Maps A Love Map is what Dr. Gottman calls the part of the brain where we store important details about our partner’s life including their likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams. Stressful events can change your partner’s view of themselves and their world. Ask your partner about how their stressors have changed how they feel about their life, job, relationships, security, and future. See a therapist if you need to Seek professional help if necessary by seeing a therapist or counselor to learn healthy coping mechanisms in dealing with stress.
